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Truth is a deadly weapon, more ballistic than guns, more seeping than nuclear fallout. The truth resonates like a match lit to life in pitch blackness.

In the culture war for America’s future, there is truth and obfuscation. Increasingly, the lines seem drawn among party. The hot, bold, naked truth gets bolstered by the brash billionaire. His opponent obfuscates, denies, and deepens herself into an abyss of misdirection.

Around these two candidates are armies of followers, each dedicated to promoting their chosen candidate and smearing their opponent.

But it is far from morally equivalent. It is truth against lies.

When Trump earnestly suggests some and not all illegal immigrants are rapists — the left calls him ‘racist’. Nevermind the truth, that 80% of women who cross into America from Mexico illegally get raped. An oft-touted truth by the left, until a presidential candidate actually tried to stop it.

Trump soared atop the global political stage leaving political correctness stuttering and faltering to halt him. What horrifies pundits feels familiar to the rest of us. Straight talking is an American value, elitism is not.

Trump’s clarity of mind dwarfs the left. We are confident in his competence, aroused by his honesty, and grateful for his grit. We freely defend and support this truth teller, as long as he continues to champion it.

The left has a candidate only 11% of Americans find honest and trustworthy. The left has a candidate that has had more FBI interrogations than press conferences in 2016. ‘Correct the Record’ pays online defenders for Hillary — a Super PAC that’s illegally colluding with the candidate herself. This Super PAC pays young adults minimum wage to give negative portrayals of Trump while ferociously defending Clinton.

If this seems sour, it is. But when the truth is against The Democrats, they resort to dirty tactics. Examples abound, like the DNC creating fake Craigslist ads to smear Trump as sexist. They betray their own, too. The DNC tried to taint Bernie Sanders in the American South for being ‘Jewish’ — revealing the DNC’s hidden anti-Semitism.

They are relentless in their pursuit of the moral low-ground, anything they can get away with, they do. The ends justify their means.

Leftists use ‘activism’ and ‘progressivism’ — terms easily mistaken as ‘intimidation’ and ‘social control’ — to portend they are morally justified in silencing dissent against their narrative.

When you drop a truth bomb, the earth quakes. And trolling is often ‘truth-telling’. It’s quicker than hand-illustrated comics, and funnier than any lone wolf pundit.

Trolling ranges from general pranks to land shifting political snipes. Trolling is the activism of the populist right, the crafty answer to lies, wrong think, and the dystopian narrative.

We troll because we denounce revolution through violence, and instead revel in the power of truth and free speech. We expose and mock violent radical leftists that pounce on police vehicles or pelt women with eggs.

It’s fun to hound leftists by amplifying their insanity to an audience fatigued with bullshit and famished for truth. We value the truth, we promote it, we share it. When our kind grace television, we amplify their trolling.

We are also forcing the left to painstakingly scrutinize even the worst of memes, this article alone probably took days to produce. The concern of the author and his frantic ‘debunking’ shows just how serious these humorless hypocrites take themselves.

Of course some memes are bunk, but we are meme-capitalists, only the truest and best reach ‘dank’ status. Some are bunk and wrong and won’t be cherished.

If memes could vote, the discredited and dishonest memes would join the Democratic base, out of lack of social mobility. Hillary created jobs for bad meme makers already— for her own benefit of course.

We aren’t paid to do it, because it is a common good to stamp out liars and criminals and bots. We troll and trick and quip because it’s effective and infuriating. And we have a blast creating the content, and much more fun consuming it.

But the underlying sentiment is a bipartisan good, we want the truth to trounce the bullshit, as truth remains humankind’s highest common denominator.

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” — Albert Camus

Follow Julian Wan on Twitter

  • Wheaton

    I love it, that is my country and these memes.
    It is the time to find out who really runs this country. We The People, or the little intellectual elite.

    • vliam

      If you haven’t figured it out, that means it’s not you.

      • Wheaton

        Perhaps I should rephrase my statement, it is time we decide WHO will run this country. From this election to the next four decades.

        It’s obvious that the insiders are destroying America and have been for some time. That’s why I support Mr. Trump.

        Also let’s see where Crooked’s health is next month. Our propaganda media is straining to cover up her weakness as it is.

        This is our most important election MAGA 2016

        • vliam

          Yes. Your generation and, more importantly, *you*, are going to finally turn this all around.

          Your level of self-deception is only surpassed by your unwarranted view of self-importance.
          Good luck.

          • SECTION 8 U.S. Code § 1324

            Just curious, vliam… does CTR pay you the federal minimum wage or is it strictly by state minimum wage?

          • Ben Sokolow

            I hear they get 60 cents per shitty post.

          • Wheaton

            You remind me of a sarcastic high school teacher I’ve met, he’d talk the same way.

            This is no self-deception, it is reality, if Crooked Hillary wins Her choices will negatively impact America for generations.
            Secondly I hold no undo level of self-importance. I hold no delusions of grandeur. However, I will dare to dream big because,”… if you’re going to be thinking anyway you may as well think big.”

            “Yes Your generation and, more importantly, *you* are going to finally turn this all around.”

            Vliam, which part of my comment said that it was only my generation that was going to finally turn this all around?

            You sound bitter,
            Sincerely,
            Wheaton

          • Doc

            It is called Millennial conceit.

        • Doc

          If you voted for Bush Sr & Jr, your complaints have no merit.

          • Wheaton

            I haven’t voted for either, this November will be the first time I vote.

          • Doc

            Then it is your responsibility to read critically instead getting wrapped up in shoot from the hip inflammatory statements presented as fact. ‘insiders are destroying America’ what does that really mean. Drumpf is the ultimate insider who has used his wealth to bilk others and to benefit from bank loans that neither of us would never be able to acquire.

            For instance, the Washington Post has historically supported Republican Candidates. So your ‘insider’ characterization is nonsense. But this is their assessment of the much insider Drumpf:

            Trump’s false claim he built his empire with a ‘small loan’ from his father

            By Glenn Kessler March 3
            What Donald Trump is doing on the campaign trail
            View Photos Businessman Donald Trump officially became the Republican nominee at the party’s convention in Cleveland.
            “It has not been easy for me. And you know I started off in Brooklyn, my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.”

            –Donald Trump, at a town hall appearance, Oct. 26, 2015

            “He (Marco Rubio) also said I got $200 million from my father. I wish. I wish. I got a very, very small loan from my father many years ago. I built that into a massive empire and I paid my father back that loan….The number is wrong by a factor of hundreds of — I mean, by a fortune. I got a small loan. I started a business.”

            –Trump, news conference, Feb. 26, 2016

            A big part of Donald Trump’s mythology is that he built a real estate empire by himself.

            Yet his father, Fred Trump, was at one point one of the richest men in America after constructing apartment complexes for the middle-class in Brooklyn and Queens. Donald Trump’s insight was to cross the river and start building in Manhattan, a much more prominent stage for the publicity-conscious would-be billionaire.

            Rubio’s claim that Trump received a $200-million inheritance appears too high, though the real figure is elusive. As far as we can determine, the assets distributed to Fred C. Trump’s descendants before and after his death in 1999 has not been revealed. The Daily News in 2000 cited family estimates that his estate was worth $100 million to $300 million but The New York Times recently found documents in Queens Surrogate Court that show that Fred Trump, in his will, divided $20 million among his four surviving children, among other distributions after estate taxes. (The will was contested by the children of his oldest son, Fred C. Trump Jr., who had passed away.)

            Trump’s father, like most wealthy individuals, also set up trusts before he died. Donald Trump admitted in a 2007 deposition that he borrowed at least $9 million from his future inheritance when he encountered financial difficulties. The documents (appended at the end of this article) suggest some property—worth, after expenses, about $30 million–was kept in trust after Fred Trump’s death to provide income to his wife, who died in 2000. So that also was presumably divided by the children after her death.

            Let’s examine in more detail Trump’s claim that his rise to fortune was fueled by a “small loan.”

            The Facts

            The building of the Grand Hyatt hotel in 1978 near New York’s Grand Central station was a key element of Trump’s first big deal in Manhattan — obtaining an option on old Penn Central railroad properties. The new hotel, which replaced an aging Commodore property, helped put Trump on the map.

            There was a nearly $1 million loan from Trump’s father that was part of the deal — Fred Trump’s Village Construction Corp. provided the loan to help repay draws on a Chase Manhattan credit line that Fred Trump had arranged for his son as he built the hotel. But that loan was only a small part of the father’s involvement in the deal.

            Trump’s father — whose name had been besmirched in New York real estate circles after investigations into windfall profits and other abuses in his real estate projects — was an essential silent partner in Trump’s initiative. In effect, the son was the front man, relying on his father’s connections and wealth, while his father stood silently in the background to avoid drawing attention to himself.

            Fred Trump — along with the Hyatt hotel chain — jointly guaranteed the $70 million construction loan from Manufacturers Hanover bank, “each assuming a 50 percent share of the obligation and each committing itself to complete the project should Donald be unable to finish it,” according to veteran Trump chronicler Wayne Barrett in his 1992 book, “Trump: The Deals and the Downfall.”

            Fred Trump’s signature on the guarantee ensured the new hotel would get built. “No document in the long paper trail attached to the Commodore deal better demonstrated the lack of bank confidence in the Donald or the project, and none made clear the limits of his promoter role,” Barrett wrote. Trump simply did not have the credit or connections to obtain such financing on his own. “It was Fred’s two-decade-old relationship with a top Equitable officer, Ben Holloway, that had helped entice them to do the project.”

            Donald Trump makes no mention of his father’s secret — and essential — role in his 1987 memoir, “The Art of the Deal.”

            In 1976, The New York Times published a fawning profile of Trump in which he was quoted as saying he was worth $200 million, even though he was only 30. But that figure –which has been widely cited – was false, according to examination of Trump’s finances in 1981 by the Casino Control Commission. (The document is embedded below.)

            Trump’s tax returns at the time indicated his salaried income in 1976 was less than $100,000 a year, which he received as an officer in his father’s company. (His father remained chief executive of the company.) His income taxes reported $76,000 in income in 1975, $25,000 in income in 1976 and $118,000 in income in 1977. He paid no income tax in 1978 and 1979 as he reported negative income, likely because of tax shelters.

            Trump also benefited from three trusts that had been set up for family members. In 1976, Fred Trump set up eight $1 million trusts, one each for his five children and three grandchildren, according to the casino document. (That today would be worth about $4 million in inflation-adjusted dollars.) The 1976 Trust paid Trump $19,000 in 1977, $47,200 in 1978, $70,000 in 1979, $90,000 in 1980 and $214,605 in 1981. Trump also received about $12,000 a year from a 1949 trust set up by his father and nearly $2,000 a year from another 1949 trust created by his grandmother. He also received a $6,000 gift every December from his parents.

            The casino document lists several other loans from Trump’s father to his son, including a $7.5 million loan with at least a 12-percent interest rate that was still outstanding in 1981.

            In 1993, according to the 2005 book “TrumpNation,” by Timothy O’Brien, the children of Fred C. Trump expected to receive about $35 million each when their father passed away. With his casinos failing in the early 1990s, Donald Trump needed to borrow about $10 million to fund his living and office expenses but could offer no collateral to his siblings. He later sought another $20 million but his siblings balked, and a smaller amount was arranged, O’Brien said.

            Trump insisted to O’Brien he had made “zero borrowings from the estate” and later unsuccessfully sued the author for libel. In a 2007 deposition related to the lawsuit, Trump admitted he had borrowed “a small amount” from his father’s estate: ‘I think it was like in the $9 million range.”

            As Trump’s casinos ran into trouble, Trump’s father also purchased $3.5 million gaming chips, but did not use them, so the casino would have enough cash to make payments on its mortgage — a transaction which casino authorities later said was an illegal loan.

            The Pinocchio Test

            Trump protests too much when he says that Rubio’s $200-million figure is “wrong by a factor of hundreds.” Trump likely did not inherit $200 million by himself, though perhaps that was the size of the father’s estate, before taxes.

            Moreover, Trump’s claim that he built a real-estate fortune out of a “small” $1 million loan is simply not credible. He benefited from numerous loans and loan guarantees, as well as his father’s connections, to make the move into Manhattan. His father also set up lucrative trusts to provide steady income. When Donald Trump became overextended in the casino business, his father bailed him out with a shady casino-chip loan—and Trump also borrowed $9 million against his future inheritance. While Trump asserts “it has not been easy for me,” he glosses over the fact that his father paved the way for his success — and that his father bailed him out when he got into trouble.

            For ignoring and playing down the substantial advantages his father’s wealth gave him, Trump earns Four Pinocchios.

            Four Pinocchios

          • Wheaton

            Do you have a argument that’s not copy and pasted?

            The copy and pasted argument you are presenting says that Mr. Trump is not self made and that he isn’t as successful as he claims. However he’s still here despite the US government nearly waging war against businessmen. Where’s your business?

            If you have put that much time in to Google Mr. Trump, then you know why Crooked is MUCH MUCH worse.

          • Doc

            Copy and paste is similar to going to the library and taking notes or detoxing articles. It a measure of providing evidence. You will ultimately have to do your own research to test your propositions. If you are prone to to accepting conspiracies than it is best to simply solidify your assumptions and not bother with reading other material. Breitbart and Drudge would quite accomodating to your thinking, Best of luck.

          • Wheaton

            I see you don’t like talking about Crooked Hillary.

            Facts that are copy and pasted are useful, a copy and pasted narrative is garbage.

            Also what’s this about conspiracies? I made no mention of any.

          • Doc

            Proceed to Breitbart and Drudge, they will provide you ample articles about crooked Hillary.

          • Wheaton

            Actually you should look at Stefan Molyneux and Mike Cernovich. And don’t forget Paul Joseph Watson.

            Then you have the complete package of excellent thinkers.

            Although if you aren’t a CTR dirtbag why would you even try to complain about Mr. Trump? With Crooked unhealthy Hillary running, I will commit seppuku before voting for anything over Trump.

          • Doc

            Thank you

          • Samerica

            F YOU! DOPE. DORK. D*CK.

          • Doc

            Pedophiles are meaningless

          • Doc

            You did not mention this kindred spirit:

            THURSDAY, AUG 18, 2016 07:00 AM CDT
            BREAKING: The Greatest Living American Writer: “I can no longer support this Trump fellow”
            NEAL POLLACK
            Share 605WhatsApp 7
            BREAKING: The Greatest Living American Writer: “I can no longer support this Trump fellow”
            (Credit: Benjamin Wheelock/Salon/Reuters/Shutterstock)
            I am the Greatest Living American Writer, the most important voice in American letters since Emerson, and definitely more important than Jonathan Franzen, who isn’t really all that important when you think for more than a minute. Beyond my groundbreaking and occasionally avant-garde novels, poetry, essays, and blacklisted film scripts, I have a long history as this false Republic’s foremost political commentator. I propped up FDR in his wheelchair, served as JFK’s sexual substitute when he got tired, and then switched gears to write Richard Nixon’s lines on Laugh-In. With only one exception — a brief and unfortunate stint as Walter Mondale’s communications director in 1984 — I’ve been a loyal general in the noble Republican cause since then.

            Therefore, it is with great regret that I must announce I will not be voting for Donald Trump in November. I didn’t arrive at this decision easily, and then it took a while for me to get paid to say something. But now that I’ve signed my contract, the time has arrived for me to spew my conscience in your direction. Conservatism will never be the same.

            I’ve been the intellectual and spiritual leader of what I like to call “the traditional American country-club conservative movement” since the late 1960s, when I wrote my groundbreaking book, “Free Lunch”, in which I described the moral dangers of paying taxes to fund desegregation projects. This led to the founding of Patriotism Magazine and its immortal mission of, as I put it in the founding editorial, “fostering free thought leading to the overthrow of Communism and the establishment of nice suburban roads.”

            From there, I went on to host my TV show, “Friendly Fire,” in which I placed liberal guests in “The Electric Chair,” roasting them alive with my Hasty Pudding-bred wit and vicious homophobic ripostes. I made Ralph Nader sob, Bella Abzug shout, and I once so angered Gore Vidal that he attacked me with a soiled plunger. Later, I went directly into government service, first for the Israeli government as an editor of The New Republic, and then for the United States government, when Ronald Reagan himself asked me to become Director Of Communication For the Department Of Secret Latin-American Proxy Wars That We’d Rather Stayed On The Down-Low For Now. In my best month, I overthrew two dictators before breakfast. My USA bonafides are for realz.

            So it is with the utmost intellectual and moral authority that I can state that Donald Trump represents the greatest threat to the Republic’s moral standing since the rise of pay-per-view motel porn. While we managed to endure that other scourge, and even thrive with it, my considered opinion is that Trump would finish us off. And not in a porn kind of way.

            Mr. Trump lacks the character, values, temperament, experience, testicles, or, most importantly, hairstyle to be President. He appears to also lack basic knowledge of the workings of government, of the secret workings of government, of the U.S. Constitution, of the Secret U.S. Constitution, and of basic U.S. institutions like freedom of religion, freedom of expression, and an independent judiciary that you only see on weekends at the racquet club.

            VIDEOTrump: Hinckley should not be released
            Donald Trump is not qualified to be Commander In Chief. He has demonstrated repeatedly that he has little or no regard for America’s vital interests such as the Middle Eastern oil fields we seized under false pretexts, our dizzying array of European military bases which are in no way outposts of empire, and our heaven-sent right to share our Netflix passwords. He praises North Korea, constantly threatens trade war with China and encourages Russian hackers to destroy U.S. government communications networks. Jesus fucking Christ, the man is a goddamn lunatic!

            SPONSORED STORIES

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            So now I must join my fellow Princes Of Darkness (as we affectionately call ourselves at the Bohemian Grove and the other, secret Bohemian Grove that no one knows about) in bravely condemning the greatest threat conservatism has known in our lifetimes, and in all other lifetimes in all other dimensions. Just the other week, I had catered lunch with John Bolton, G. Gordon Liddy, Lex Luthor, Skeletor, Henry Kissinger, Count Dracula, Baron Zemo, Karl Rove, Roger Ailes, and the surviving commanders from the My Lai Massacre. We all agreed that Trump is the worst man ever.

            Unlike patriots such as, say, Oliver North and the entire Rumsfeld defense department, Trump is unable to separate truth from falsehood. He says he knows “more about ISIS than the generals do,” “more about cars than the Germans do,” and “more about ghosts than Scooby-Doo.” Well, if he knew the truth about ghosts — that they haunt the houses of those whose cynical realpolitik philosophies led to their extermination by death squad — Mr. Trump wouldn’t be so flippant. I constantly have to keep my pantry stocked to slake the spirits of the murdered indigenous Guatemalan family that haunts my dreams. Ghosts never let you sleep, and sometimes they drink all the water in the Brita.

            ADVERTISEMENT

            Some of have doubts about Hillary Clinton. After John Negroponte asked me to sign his copy of my seminal book of political thought, The Conservative Case For Moral Assholery, at last month’s annual secret Aspen-To-Davos air rally and organic sausage roast, he and I talked about this for hours with our colleagues Charles Krauthammer, Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Ferguson, and Krautson Ferguhammer. We all confirmed, via our still-high government security clearances, that Hillary is not a murderous android from the future, despite rumors and some evidence to the contrary. Beyond that, I’m still skeptical to hand over the reins of power to a woman who once referred to me during a Congressional hearing as a “suppurating crotch wound on the body politic.” But there’s no doubt that Clinton can at least identify Nicaragua on a map and knows the basic facts of its recent history. We can work with that. Donald Trump, on the other hand, would mistake the map for a napkin, and then would wipe his ass with that history.

            Trump is not the kind of person you would want in charge of your nuclear arsenal, or of any other kind of arsenal, for that matter. My friends and I spent a lot of time setting up this world order. If a madman upsets it, it’s going to be a madman of our choosing, at a time in history that suits our purposes.

            That time is not this time. When that time comes, we’ll let you know. Right now, however, it’s time for cocktails on the veranda. If history has proven anything, it is that great intellectual courage makes you need a drink. And I’ve never been thirstier in my life.

            Neal Pollack has been the Greatest Living American Writer since the dawn of American letters in the early 1930s, or possibly before. He first came to the public’s attention writing for McSweeney’s in the late 1990s, and then through the publication of “The Neal Pollack Anthology Of American Literature,” the greatest book in American literary history, and possibly in the literary history of all the Americas. The author of dozens of books of fiction, nonfiction, fictional nonfiction, poetry, screenplays, interviews, and diet tips, Neal Pollack lives in a mansion on the summit of Mount Winchester with his beleaguered manservant, Roger. He has outlived Christopher Hitchens, Gore Vidal, Norman Mailer, and many more, and will outlive all of you, too.

          • NetMan

            I believe these chicken tendies I found on the floor are yours, sir.

          • Doc

            I like to share have at them. Add some catchup. Enjoy

          • Samerica

            add some sour kraut to your hotdog Nazi.

          • Doc

            There were many pedophiles in the Nazi. Party. I suggest study them for more strategies

          • Doc

            Sharing another chicken tendie with you.

            THURSDAY, AUG 18, 2016 07:00 AM CDT
            BREAKING: The Greatest Living American Writer: “I can no longer support this Trump fellow”
            NEAL POLLACK
            Share 605WhatsApp 7
            BREAKING: The Greatest Living American Writer: “I can no longer support this Trump fellow”
            (Credit: Benjamin Wheelock/Salon/Reuters/Shutterstock)
            I am the Greatest Living American Writer, the most important voice in American letters since Emerson, and definitely more important than Jonathan Franzen, who isn’t really all that important when you think for more than a minute. Beyond my groundbreaking and occasionally avant-garde novels, poetry, essays, and blacklisted film scripts, I have a long history as this false Republic’s foremost political commentator. I propped up FDR in his wheelchair, served as JFK’s sexual substitute when he got tired, and then switched gears to write Richard Nixon’s lines on Laugh-In. With only one exception — a brief and unfortunate stint as Walter Mondale’s communications director in 1984 — I’ve been a loyal general in the noble Republican cause since then.

            Therefore, it is with great regret that I must announce I will not be voting for Donald Trump in November. I didn’t arrive at this decision easily, and then it took a while for me to get paid to say something. But now that I’ve signed my contract, the time has arrived for me to spew my conscience in your direction. Conservatism will never be the same.

            I’ve been the intellectual and spiritual leader of what I like to call “the traditional American country-club conservative movement” since the late 1960s, when I wrote my groundbreaking book, “Free Lunch”, in which I described the moral dangers of paying taxes to fund desegregation projects. This led to the founding of Patriotism Magazine and its immortal mission of, as I put it in the founding editorial, “fostering free thought leading to the overthrow of Communism and the establishment of nice suburban roads.”

            From there, I went on to host my TV show, “Friendly Fire,” in which I placed liberal guests in “The Electric Chair,” roasting them alive with my Hasty Pudding-bred wit and vicious homophobic ripostes. I made Ralph Nader sob, Bella Abzug shout, and I once so angered Gore Vidal that he attacked me with a soiled plunger. Later, I went directly into government service, first for the Israeli government as an editor of The New Republic, and then for the United States government, when Ronald Reagan himself asked me to become Director Of Communication For the Department Of Secret Latin-American Proxy Wars That We’d Rather Stayed On The Down-Low For Now. In my best month, I overthrew two dictators before breakfast. My USA bonafides are for realz.

            So it is with the utmost intellectual and moral authority that I can state that Donald Trump represents the greatest threat to the Republic’s moral standing since the rise of pay-per-view motel porn. While we managed to endure that other scourge, and even thrive with it, my considered opinion is that Trump would finish us off. And not in a porn kind of way.

            Mr. Trump lacks the character, values, temperament, experience, testicles, or, most importantly, hairstyle to be President. He appears to also lack basic knowledge of the workings of government, of the secret workings of government, of the U.S. Constitution, of the Secret U.S. Constitution, and of basic U.S. institutions like freedom of religion, freedom of expression, and an independent judiciary that you only see on weekends at the racquet club.

            VIDEOTrump: Hinckley should not be released
            Donald Trump is not qualified to be Commander In Chief. He has demonstrated repeatedly that he has little or no regard for America’s vital interests such as the Middle Eastern oil fields we seized under false pretexts, our dizzying array of European military bases which are in no way outposts of empire, and our heaven-sent right to share our Netflix passwords. He praises North Korea, constantly threatens trade war with China and encourages Russian hackers to destroy U.S. government communications networks. Jesus fucking Christ, the man is a goddamn lunatic!

            SPONSORED STORIES

            THIS Is Why Donald Trump Does Not Talk About His Kids…
            buzzmozo.com

            Librarians Love It – The One Website Book Lovers Need to Know
            BookTalk

            The Internet Reacts To Video Of Malia Obama Smoking Weed
            Global Grind
            Recommended by
            So now I must join my fellow Princes Of Darkness (as we affectionately call ourselves at the Bohemian Grove and the other, secret Bohemian Grove that no one knows about) in bravely condemning the greatest threat conservatism has known in our lifetimes, and in all other lifetimes in all other dimensions. Just the other week, I had catered lunch with John Bolton, G. Gordon Liddy, Lex Luthor, Skeletor, Henry Kissinger, Count Dracula, Baron Zemo, Karl Rove, Roger Ailes, and the surviving commanders from the My Lai Massacre. We all agreed that Trump is the worst man ever.

            Unlike patriots such as, say, Oliver North and the entire Rumsfeld defense department, Trump is unable to separate truth from falsehood. He says he knows “more about ISIS than the generals do,” “more about cars than the Germans do,” and “more about ghosts than Scooby-Doo.” Well, if he knew the truth about ghosts — that they haunt the houses of those whose cynical realpolitik philosophies led to their extermination by death squad — Mr. Trump wouldn’t be so flippant. I constantly have to keep my pantry stocked to slake the spirits of the murdered indigenous Guatemalan family that haunts my dreams. Ghosts never let you sleep, and sometimes they drink all the water in the Brita.

            ADVERTISEMENT

            Some of have doubts about Hillary Clinton. After John Negroponte asked me to sign his copy of my seminal book of political thought, The Conservative Case For Moral Assholery, at last month’s annual secret Aspen-To-Davos air rally and organic sausage roast, he and I talked about this for hours with our colleagues Charles Krauthammer, Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Ferguson, and Krautson Ferguhammer. We all confirmed, via our still-high government security clearances, that Hillary is not a murderous android from the future, despite rumors and some evidence to the contrary. Beyond that, I’m still skeptical to hand over the reins of power to a woman who once referred to me during a Congressional hearing as a “suppurating crotch wound on the body politic.” But there’s no doubt that Clinton can at least identify Nicaragua on a map and knows the basic facts of its recent history. We can work with that. Donald Trump, on the other hand, would mistake the map for a napkin, and then would wipe his ass with that history.

            Trump is not the kind of person you would want in charge of your nuclear arsenal, or of any other kind of arsenal, for that matter. My friends and I spent a lot of time setting up this world order. If a madman upsets it, it’s going to be a madman of our choosing, at a time in history that suits our purposes.

            That time is not this time. When that time comes, we’ll let you know. Right now, however, it’s time for cocktails on the veranda. If history has proven anything, it is that great intellectual courage makes you need a drink. And I’ve never been thirstier in my life.

            Neal Pollack has been the Greatest Living American Writer since the dawn of American letters in the early 1930s, or possibly before. He first came to the public’s attention writing for McSweeney’s in the late 1990s, and then through the publication of “The Neal Pollack Anthology Of American Literature,” the greatest book in American literary history, and possibly in the literary history of all the Americas. The author of dozens of books of fiction, nonfiction, fictional nonfiction, poetry, screenplays, interviews, and diet tips, Neal Pollack lives in a mansion on the summit of Mount Winchester with his beleaguered manservant, Roger. He has outlived Christopher Hitchens, Gore Vidal, Norman Mailer, and many more, and will outlive all of you, too.

          • Samerica

            GO TRUMP YOURSELF.

          • Doc

            Pedophiles especially who seek to breed little boys are irrelevant

          • Doc

            The capital letters suggest that you are frustrated. Can’t entice a little bit. Try your nephew

          • Doc

            Another chicken tendie for you

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            Trump promised personal gifts on ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ Here’s who really paid.
            By David A. Fahrenthold and Alice Crites August 18 at 9:51 PM
            ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ proves Donald Trump loves to give away money that isn’t actually his Play Video2:25
            The time had come to fire Khloé Kardashian. But first, Donald Trump had a question.

            “What’s your charity?” Trump asked.

            They were filming “The Celebrity Apprentice,” the reality-TV show where Trump schooled the faded and the semi-famous in the arts of advertising, salesmanship and workplace in­fighting. Most weeks, one winner got prize money for charity. One loser got fired.

            Kardashian told Trump that she was playing for the Brent Shapiro Foundation, which helps teens stay away from alcohol and drugs.

            Trump had a pleasant surprise. Although Kardashian could not win any more prize money, he would give her cause a special, personal donation. Not the show’s money. His own money.

            “I’m going to give $20,000 to your charity,” Trump said, according to a transcript of that show.

            He didn’t.

            After the show aired in 2009, Kardashian’s charity did receive $20,000. But it wasn’t from Trump. Instead, the check came from a TV production company, the same one that paid out the show’s official prizes.

            The same thing happened numerous times on “The Celebrity Apprentice.” To console a fired or disappointed celebrity, Trump would promise a personal gift.

            On-air, Trump seemed to be explicit that this wasn’t TV fakery: The money he was giving was his own. “Out of my wallet,” Trump said in one case. “Out of my own account,” he said in another.

            But, when the cameras were off, the payments came from other people’s money.

            In some cases, as with Kardashian, Trump’s “personal” promise was paid off by a production company. Other times, it was paid off by a nonprofit that Trump controls, whose coffers are largely filled with other donors’ money.

            The Washington Post tracked all the “personal” gifts that Trump promised on the show — during 83 episodes and seven seasons — but could not confirm a single case in which Trump actually sent a gift from his own pocket.

            Trump did not respond to repeated requests for comment.

            Donald Trump casting for “The Apprentice” in 2004. (RIC FRANCIS/ASSOCIATED PRESS)
            For Trump, “The Apprentice” — and later, “The Celebrity Apprentice” — helped reestablish him as a national figure, after his fall into debt and corporate bankruptcies in the 1990s.

            On-screen, Trump was a wise, tough businessman. And, at times, a kind­hearted philanthropist — willing to give away thousands on a whim.

            In one instance, Trump’s sudden flourish of generosity was enough to move an insult comedian to tears.

            “I’m gonna give $10,000 to it, okay?” Trump said, offering a personal gift to singer Aubrey O’Day after O’Day’s team lost that week’s task. Then Trump noticed another contestant, Lisa Lampanelli — a comedian known as “The Queen of Mean. “Are you crying now? Lisa, what’s going on here?”

            “I thought that was really nice,” Lampanelli said, her voice breaking. “I mean, it takes you 30 seconds to make that amount, so thank you. You’re a rich man, and we appreciate it.”

            The Post examined Trump’s on-air promises as part of its ongoing search for evidence that the Republican presidential nominee gives millions to charity out of his own pocket — as he claims. Trump has declined to release his tax returns, which would make his charitable donations clear.

            NBC, which broadcast his show, declined to release the episodes for review, saying it did not own the footage. Instead, The Post relied on TV transcription services, online recaps of the show, YouTube clips and public tax records.

            Donald Trump with two of his children, Donald Trump Jr. and Ivanka Trump, on “The Celebrity Apprentice” in 2008. (Ali Goldstein/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
            In all, The Post found 21 separate instances where Trump had pledged money to a celebrity’s cause. Together, those pledges totaled $464,000. The Post then contacted the individual charities to find out who paid off Trump’s promises.

            In one case, the answer was: nobody at all.

            In 2012, Trump had promised $10,000 to the Latino Commission on AIDS, the charity of former Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza. The charity said it never received the money.

            In two other cases, it was not possible to determine what happened. One charity said that somebody had paid off Trump’s promise but declined to say who. Leaders of another charity — baseball star Darryl Strawberry’s foundation, to which Trump had promised $25,000 — did not respond to multiple calls or emails from The Post.

            In the other 18 cases, the answer was the same — on-air, Trump promising a gift of his own money; off-air, that gift coming from someone else.

            “I think you’re so incredible that — personally, out of my own account — I’m going to give you $50,000 for St. Jude’s,” Trump told mixed martial arts star Tito Ortiz in 2008.

            This was the first personal promise The Post found, from the show’s first season.

            Ortiz, at the time, was being fired. His team had come up short in a contest to design advertising for yogurt-based body wash. To soften the blow, Trump promised the gift to Ortiz’s charity, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis.

            Tax records show that the hospital was sent $50,000 from a nonprofit, the Donald J. Trump Foundation.

            That sounds like it was Trump’s money.

            But, for the most part, it wasn’t.

            The Washington Post has contacted more than 250 charities with some tie to the GOP nominee in an effort to find proof of the millions he’s said he donated. We’ve been mostly unsuccessful. VIEW GRAPHIC
            The Washington Post has contacted more than 250 charities with some tie to the GOP nominee in an effort to find proof of the millions he’s said he donated. We’ve been mostly unsuccessful.
            Trump had founded the nonprofit group in the late 1980s — and, in its early years, Trump was its only donor. But that had changed in the mid-2000s. Trump let the foundation’s assets dwindle to $4,238 at the beginning of 2007. After that, its coffers were filled using donations from others, most notably pro wrestling magnates Vince and Linda McMahon.

            In 2007 and 2008 combined, Trump gave $65,000 to his own foundation, or about 1 percent of its incoming money.

            When he described his gift to Ortiz on-air in 2008, it was personal, “from my own account.”

            “Thank you very much,” Ortiz said.

            “Get out of here,” Trump said.

            In the next few seasons, such personal promises from Trump were relatively rare. The Post found six such pledges­ in the show’s first four seasons combined.

            And in at least two of those cases, the payment didn’t come from Trump — or his foundation, which he had used to pay Ortiz’s charity.

            “What’s your charity, Jose?” Trump asked baseball slugger Jose Canseco in an episode in 2011. Canseco was leaving the show voluntarily because his father had become ill. As with Kardashian, Trump said he would soften the blow with a gift. Canseco’s charity was the Baseball Assistance Team, which provides confidential aid to minor leaguers, umpires, retired players and others connected to the sport.

            “All right, I’m gonna give $25,000,” Trump said. “Say hello to your father.”

            As with Kardashian, that money came from Reilly Worldwide. Trump gave nothing.

            The Post sent a query to Canseco: Did he think any differently about Trump after he learned that a third party paid off Trump’s promise?

            No comment. “He said he’s only doing paying jobs. I’m sorry,” Canseco’s publicist wrote.

            In 2012, Trump became more generous on the air.

            That year, he promised six $10,000 donations in a single episode. In another episode, he gave contestant O’Day’s charity $10,000 — the gift that moved Lampanelli to tears.

            It was all Trump Foundation money.

            Actor Gary Busey attends “The Celebrity Apprentice” Season 4 finale in 2011. (Neilson Barnard/GETTY IMAGES)
            In 2013, the gifts continued. In one episode that year, Trump handed out $20,000 each to the charities of basketball star Dennis Rodman, singer La Toya Jackson and actor Gary Busey.

            “Remember, Donald Trump is a very nice person, okay?” he told them.

            By then, a personal gift from Trump was no longer a rare thing. In fact, contestants had come to expect these gifts — and even to demand them, when Trump didn’t offer money on his own.

            “Give her some money. She didn’t win nothin’,” country singer Trace Adkins told Trump in one episode as the billionaire was firing former Playboy Playmate Brande Roderick.

            “Okay, I’m going to give you $20,000, okay? All right?” Trump told Roderick.

            “Thank you, Mr. Trump,” said Adkins, the man who sang “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” “That was cool.”

            All of that was the Trump Foundation’s money.

            In fact, The Post’s search found that all of Trump’s promises from the show’s last three seasons were paid off by the Trump Foundation, save one. That was the biggest one. In 2013, Trump promised $100,000 to the American Diabetes Association, the charity of hip-hop artist Lil Jon. He said that the gift was in honor of Lil Jon’s mother, who had recently died.

            In that case, a production company paid.

            From left, Penn Jillette, Lil Jon and Trace Adkins attend an “All Star Celebrity Apprentice” event at Trump Tower in 2013. (Slaven Vlasic/GETTY IMAGES)
            The Post reached out to Trump, NBC and Mark Burnett — the show’s producer — to ask whether there was any way that these production-company checks could actually be considered gifts from Trump himself. Had they, perhaps, been deducted from Trump’s fees for the show?

            Trump and Burnett did not respond. NBC declined to comment.

            After The Post’s close look at Trump’s promises­ on the show, a mystery remained: What happened in 2012 to make Trump so much more generous on the air?

            In the tax records of the Trump Foundation — which Trump used to pay off most of those new promises — there is no record of a donation from Trump himself in 2012.

            In fact, there is no record of any gift from Trump’s pocket to the Trump Foundation in any year since 2008. (In 2011, Comedy Central donated Trump’s $400,000 appearance fee for a televised roast.)

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            But, in 2012, the Trump Foundation’s records show a large gift from NBC, the network that aired the show. That was more than enough to cover all the foundation’s gifts to “Celebrity Apprentice” contestants’ charities, both before 2012 and since.

            For NBC, Trump’s “personal” donations made for better TV. They added will-he-or-won’t-he drama to the show’s boardroom scenes, gave uplifting notes to the “firings” and burnished the reputation of Trump, the show’s star.

            Did NBC give Trump’s foundation money, so that Trump could appear to be more generous on-camera?

            An NBC spokeswoman declined to comment.

            Rosalind S. Helderman contributed to this report.

            1.3k Comments
            David A. Fahrenthold covers Congress for the Washington Post. He has been at the Post since 2000, and previously covered (in order) the D.C. police, New England, and the environment. Follow @Fahrenthold
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            National polls and battleground state polls all tell a similar story. Hillary Clinton has opened up a small-to-significant lead over Donald Trump almost everywhere it counts, according to Real Clear Politics. Unless Trump can reverse course, Clinton, despite persistent questions about her honesty, is on a track to win a handsome electoral college majority.
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            Trump trails by double digits in both of these states in the NBC/Marist poll — 14 points in Colorado and 13 points in Virginia. In Colorado, the last three polls show margins of 10 to 14 points. In Virginia, Trump has trailed by double digits in the last two polls and by as much as seven and nine points in other recent polls.

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          • Doc

            And another tendie…

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            JOHN CASSIDY
            TRUMP UNIVERSITY: IT’S WORSE THAN YOU THINK
            By John Cassidy , JUNE 2, 2016
            If anyone still has any doubt about the troubling nature of Donald Trump’s record, he or she should be obliged to read the affidavit of Ronald Schnackenberg, a former salesman for Trump University.
            If anyone still has any doubt about the troubling nature of Donald Trump’s record, he or she should be obliged to read the affidavit of Ronald Schnackenberg, a former salesman for Trump University.
            PHOTOGRAPH BY MARIO TAMA / GETTY
            Following the release, earlier this week, of testimony filed in a federal lawsuit against Trump University, the United States is facing a high-stakes social-science experiment. Will one of the world’s leading democracies elect as its President a businessman who founded and operated a for-profit learning annex that some of its own employees regarded as a giant rip-off, and that the highest legal officer in New York State has described as a classic bait-and-switch scheme?

            If anyone still has any doubt about the troubling nature of Donald Trump’s record, he or she should be obliged to read the affidavit of Ronald Schnackenberg, a former salesman for Trump University. Schnackenberg’s testimony was one of the documents unsealed by a judge in the class-action suit, which was brought in California by some of Trump University’s disgruntled former attendees.

            Schnackenberg, who worked in Trump’s office at 40 Wall Street, testified that “while Trump University claimed it wanted to help consumers make money in real estate, in fact Trump University was only interested in selling every person the most expensive seminars they possibly could.” The affidavit concludes, “Based upon my personal experience and employment, I believe that Trump University was a fraudulent scheme, and that it preyed upon the elderly and uneducated to separate them from their money.”

            In one sense, the latest revelations don’t break much new ground. Back in 2013, when the office of Eric Schneiderman, New York’s Attorney General, filed a civil lawsuit against Trump and some of his associates, the complaint, which is also worth reading in full, made perfectly clear what sort of organization it was targeting. Despite Trump University’s claim that it offered “graduate programs, post graduate programs, doctorate programs,” it wasn’t a university at all. It was a company that purported to be selling Trump’s secret insights into how to make money in real estate. From the time Trump University began operating, in 2005, the A.G.’s office repeatedly warned the company that it was breaking the law by calling itself a university. (In New York State, universities have to obtain a state charter.)

            That was the bait—or, rather, the initial bait. According to the Attorney General’s complaint, the free classes were merely a marketing device. There, Trump University’s instructors “engaged in a methodical, Systematic Series of misrepresentations” designed to convince students to sign up for a three-day seminar, where they would learn Trump’s personal techniques and strategies for investing, at a cost of about fifteen hundred dollars.

            When it began, Trump University offered online classes, but it quickly switched its focus to live classes and seminars, the first of which was free to attend. One of the company’s ads said of Trump, “He’s the most celebrated entrepreneur on earth. . . . And now he’s ready to share—with Americans like you—the Trump process for investing in today’s once-in-a-lifetime real estate market.” The ad said that Trump had “hand-picked” Trump University’s instructors, and it ended with a quote from him: “I can turn anyone into a successful real estate investor, including you.”

            In fact, Trump hadn’t handpicked the instructors, and he didn’t attend the three-day seminars. Moreover, the complaint said, “no specific Donald Trump techniques or strategies were taught during the seminars, Donald Trump ‘never’ reviewed any of Trump University’s curricula or programming materials, nor did he review any of the content for the free seminars or the three day seminars.” So what were the attendees taught? According to the complaint, “the contents and material presented by Trump University were developed in large part by a third-party company that creates and develops materials for an array of motivational speakers and Seminar and timeshare rental companies.” The closest that the attendees at the seminars got to Trump was when they were encouraged to have their picture taken with a life-size photo of him.

            The alleged scam didn’t stop there. Trump University instructors told people who attended the three-day seminars that this wasn’t enough time to learn how to succeed, and encouraged them to purchase additional “mentorship” programs, which cost up to thirty-five thousand dollars. The complaint explained,

            This bait and switch was laid out in the Trump University Playbook (“Playbook”), which provided step-to-step directions to Trump University instructors on what to tell students during the seminars. . . . Trump University instructors and staff were given detailed guidance as to how to build rapport and approach consumers one-on-one to encourage further purchases. Trump University representatives were explicitly instructed to push the highest priced Elite programs. Even when students hesitated to purchase the expensive programs, Trump representatives were provided stock responses to encourage purchases, including encouraging students to go into debt to pay for the Elite programs.

            The newly released documents, which included actual Trump University playbooks (one was also uncovered by Politico earlier this year), provide more detail about the sales tactics that its employees used. Some of these methods, such as encouraging customers to max out their credit cards and playing psychological tricks on them, are familiar from the world of time-shares and other dodgy industries. “If they can afford the gold elite don’t allow them to think about doing anything besides the gold elite,” one of the playbooks advised the sales staff. At another point, the manual said, “Don’t ask people what they think about something you’ve said. Instead, always ask them how they feel about it. People buy emotionally and justify it logically.”

            One of Schnackenberg’s contributions, in his testimony, was to illustrate how these tactics worked with individuals. Recounting his experience with one couple, which included a man who was on disability, he said, “After the hard-sell sales presentation, they were considering purchasing the $35,000 Elite program. I did not feel it was an appropriate program for them because of their precarious financial condition.” Far from being commended by his bosses for his honesty, Schnackenberg said that he was reprimanded. Another salesperson then “talked them into buying the $35,000 program after I refused to sell this program to them,” he testified. “I was disgusted by this conduct and decided to resign.”

            Trump denies any wrongdoing. Citing surveys that he claims show that Trump University got high approval ratings from its customers, he has set up a Web site at 98percentapproval.com, which features testimonials from Trump University attendees and attacks on the Attorney General. Trump’s lawyers also told the Times that other testimony in the California case had discredited the charges made by former employees. Hope Hicks, Trump’s campaign spokesperson, said that he was looking forward to his day in court.

            So far, though, Trump has failed in his efforts to have the lawsuits in California and New York thrown out. And, whatever happens to the legal cases, the allegations will dog him all the way to November. On Wednesday, Hillary Clinton offered a preview of what is to come, calling Trump a “fraud” who is “trying to scam America the way he scammed all those people at Trump University.”

            The Clinton campaign is clearly hoping that Trump University will be to Trump as Bain Capital was to Mitt Romney—a way to portray him as just another selfish rich guy who is out to profit at the expense of ordinary folk. Commenting on Twitter, Clinton’s press secretary, Brian Fallon, wrote, “Trump U is devastating because it’s metaphor for his whole campaign: promising hardworking Americans way to get ahead, but all based on lies.”

            So will Trump University be the thing that brings Trump down? In a post for The New Republic, Brian Beutler argued that it will be “devastating” to him. On my Twitter feed, some people reacted more skeptically, pointing out that many of Trump’s supporters appear oblivious to any criticisms of him, and that Clinton isn’t necessarily the ideal prosecutor. It is also worth recalling that, in Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, another populist businessman, served as Prime Minister four times despite a list of allegations against him that included bribery, tax evasion, sexual misconduct, and having ties to the mafia.

            One thing is clear, though. If the revelations about Trump University don’t do any damage to Trump, it’s time to worry—or worry even more—about American democracy.

            John Cassidy has been a staff writer at The New Yorker since 1995. He also writes a column about politics, economics, and more, for newyorker.com. MORE
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          • Samerica

            again no facts more BS lies and excuses from a moron.

          • Doc

            Oh pedophile as you keep sayng, go to the basement

          • Doc

            Better to be a moron than a pedophile who is also the village idiot

          • Samerica

            more propaganda from a typical branwashed Nazi.

          • Doc

            Pedophiles are known to be paranoid. I wonder why?

          • Doc

            So don’t even have a brain because yours it filled with anticipation of d*cks

          • Samerica

            again your intelligence shows your a fing dope.

          • Doc

            ‘fing’ is that your primary instrument you use with little boys

  • Jacob

    When you drop a truth bomb, the whole earth quakes. And trolling is frequently ‘truth-telling’. It’s quicker than hand-illustrated comics, and funnier than any pundit is permitted to be.

    We troll because we denounce revolution through violence, and instead revel in the power of truth and free speech.

    Oh fucking gag me

  • Ben Sokolow

    I was a paid political shill once. ACORN paid me to go door to door and harass people in Albuquerque, New Mexico to vote for Debbie O’Malley the leftist for city council. I was sent to the same houses multiple times in a row day after day. It was embarrassing. I’m glad I now shit post for free for the right side.

    • Doc

      Perhaps, you need to concentrate on you weight.

      • Samerica

        WOW. you are typical left wing dope nobody who continues to
        show the stupidity and non-educated left wing voter’s intelligence.
        not an original thought in your empty head. dope. I mean dork.

        • Doc

          Blathering of a pedophile

          • At least you are capable of honest self-appraisal.

  • Pingback: This is for you Trump voters. by antifreeze - Page 566 - TribalWar Forums()

  • Angela Whitaker-Becker

    We Won!!!!!!!!!